Sunday, July 2, 2017

In a Moment

I woke up this morning and started off ok.
Wasn't quite sure what to do for the day. 
I was tired from work the week before
Was out late and wanted to sleep some more. 
'Twas not in the cards so I got up and ate
And pondered tasks that I could put on my plate. 
I realized the feeling of anxiety and fear
Puzzled at why it was showing up here. 
I was safe at home no expectations to fill
Yet I could not shake this feeling at will. 
I started to distract me with a little this and that 
No matter what I did this feeling with me sat. 
So I stopped what I was doing and decided to say
We've got to address this so I can get on with my day. 
Usually I hide it and smother it with stuff
Cause facing this is perceived as quite tough.  
So here I was sitting with this powerful emotion
Wishing there was a quick fix-it-all potion.
I sat and asked "Why are you here?"
The answer came back "What do you fear?"
I said, "A lot quite frankly and honestly so.
But you can't stay here - you have got to go!"
It said it would stay until it was faced
With conversation and love and until I found grace.  
So I took a deep breath and tried to stop my mind
From all the negative thoughts of the spiraling kind. 
I spoke with this fear for what seemed like a while
And realized how much there was on this pile. 
Self doubt self worth and self love came through
Others expectations and some of mine too. 
There was a mountain of being enough by my eyes
So I picked out some truths and thru out the lies. 
We shined a bright light on all that is me 
Who I am now and who I wish to be. 
The doing of things only gets us so far
It's what goes on inside of us - its the who we are. 
I acknowledged this fear and thanked it too
For it helped me see what I unconsciously do. 
We parted with new understanding and learned 
That we will meet again until all comes to terms. 
After it left I could still feel it linger
Like a bee bite once I've taken out the stinger.  
I hadnt noticed how deeply it bore,
Yet now I know there is so so much more
To these feelings that I seem to keep pushing away -
Until I work with them they are here to stay.  
They also offer a great opportunity
To feel freedom of emotions' hold on me. 
So glad that I took the time to hear
What was actually hiding beneath the fear.  
I look forward to our next meeting whenever it shows
And wont allow it to take me to unlikely lows. 
I suppose we will become seemingly good friends -
Friends who help each other lovingly transcend. 

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