Wasn't quite sure what to do for the day.
I was tired from work the week before
Was out late and wanted to sleep some more.
'Twas not in the cards so I got up and ate
And pondered tasks that I could put on my plate.
I realized the feeling of anxiety and fear
Puzzled at why it was showing up here.
I was safe at home no expectations to fill
Yet I could not shake this feeling at will.
I started to distract me with a little this and that
No matter what I did this feeling with me sat.
So I stopped what I was doing and decided to say
We've got to address this so I can get on with my day.
Usually I hide it and smother it with stuff
Cause facing this is perceived as quite tough.
So here I was sitting with this powerful emotion
Wishing there was a quick fix-it-all potion.
I sat and asked "Why are you here?"
The answer came back "What do you fear?"
I said, "A lot quite frankly and honestly so.
But you can't stay here - you have got to go!"
It said it would stay until it was faced
With conversation and love and until I found grace.
So I took a deep breath and tried to stop my mind
From all the negative thoughts of the spiraling kind.
I spoke with this fear for what seemed like a while
And realized how much there was on this pile.
Self doubt self worth and self love came through
Others expectations and some of mine too.
There was a mountain of being enough by my eyes
So I picked out some truths and thru out the lies.
We shined a bright light on all that is me
Who I am now and who I wish to be.
The doing of things only gets us so far
It's what goes on inside of us - its the who we are.
I acknowledged this fear and thanked it too
For it helped me see what I unconsciously do.
We parted with new understanding and learned
That we will meet again until all comes to terms.
After it left I could still feel it linger
Like a bee bite once I've taken out the stinger.
I hadnt noticed how deeply it bore,
Yet now I know there is so so much more
To these feelings that I seem to keep pushing away -
Until I work with them they are here to stay.
They also offer a great opportunity
To feel freedom of emotions' hold on me.
So glad that I took the time to hear
What was actually hiding beneath the fear.
I look forward to our next meeting whenever it shows
And wont allow it to take me to unlikely lows.
I suppose we will become seemingly good friends -
Friends who help each other lovingly transcend.